| Who would you like to be this year? |
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| Written by Elsa Simpson |
 Have you ever thought of choosing a new identity for this new year? We are often stuck with an identity that we have chosen way back. As a teenager we tried different identities and then settled on one. Even though we grow, but remain stuck in this familiar identity. We do not stop to claim the new identities that were shaped through the years.
So, are you the youngest who always needs help? Or the eldest who needs to take care of everybody around you? Or the family clown who always needs to lighten things up with a joke? Or the “identified patient” who always causes the problems in the family, or the invisible middle child? Would you like to try a new identity? Step 1: Think of a few significant events during the past year – events where you felt connected with your purpose/passion and where you felt you really made a difference.A few months ago a very intelligent, competent and intuitive woman in her early forties came to me after she has experienced serious inner and interpersonal conflict at work. After we have spent some time unpacking a few incidents (conflict with management as well as significant complex technical contributions) we came to the conclusion that there was a new identity simmering inside her and that it was long overdue for her to take on the new identity. Within her old identity (submissive pleaser), conflict started to rise but while when she was busy with the groundbreaking new technical project, she felt alive. Step 2: Unpack the events by asking questions, by journaling or by discussing them with someone you trust.While she was thinking of herself as a "willing slave" she felt overworked and underpaid, and reacted passive aggressively with interpersonal conflict as the result. While working on the technical project she felt as if she was doing groundbreaking technical work, making a huge difference! She felt alive and energised. She received excellent feedback and thought that she would like to spend many more years exploring all the possibilities. Questions that can help you: ·
Step 3: What new identity has risen from the event that you would like to experiment with?Be brave enough to ask feedback from other people (also see Monene's article). She had to start thinking of herself as a cutting-edge technical specialist in her field. She had to acknowledge her own experience and wisdom, and trust her intuition and wisdom interpersonally. She needed to believe the positive feedback she received from local and national experts. Step 4: Try on the new identity by giving it a name and visualise yourself as the new identity. Try to fight beliefs/thoughts that criticise this new identity.She started to think about herself as a leader in her field and stepped into her power. She conducted a meeting with the main players to start a process to solve highly complex technical problems. At the end of the year she was rewarded with a national award for the contributions she has made in her field! Perhaps there is a new identity waiting for you to own it. Dare to explore the easy 4 steps above and see what happens. If you want to explore a new identity you are welcome to contact Elsa.Elsa Simpson is an experienced facilitator, trainer and counsellor. She conducts workshops and team-builds as well as individual processes for personal growth and development in organisations as well as with private individuals. Contact her at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it , on 021 982 7038 or 083 782 1249, or visit www.clariact.com. |