Have you ever had that feeling that you cannot drive yourself any further, but that there is no way out? So you continue overruling all the messages your body is whispering or screaming to you. Next, something’s got to give! Your body pops, your mind goes blank and/or relationships go sour and this forces you to stop. What about pressing the PAUSE button before this happens?

Pause and consider a few things
Pause and tune in on your body’s wave length and listen to its messages.
It is a strange thing, but if you stop and try to listen to the wisdom of your body, you will usually get the message.  The pounding head ache is saying: “I can’t handle the stress and lack of sleep anymore!” The stomach ache is saying: “I cannot stomach this relationship anymore!” The low back pain is telling you: “I’ve lost my power. Get out of this job. I’m a round peg in a square hole and it will not get better!”

Try to acknowledge: life is difficult
Let go of the illusion that there are people who actually have life under control. Mary Super Women has a boy and a girl. Her children are well-mannered and they perform excellently at school. She and her husband still have honeymoon breaks and both having fulfilling careers and earn good money.
Pause and delete the picture. It’s an illusion, even if it looks perfect from the outside.

Understand the juggling act: money, job and life
Many years ago someone told me that we always juggle a few things: money, job satisfaction and lifestyle. She also said that only once in a blue moon do you strike the jack pot with all three appearing on the screen of your gambling machine or with all three balls in the air! Most of the time one or two would be up and the other one or two down. Welcome to life!
Pause and appreciate the one or two ups and accept the down or decide to change your position.

Acknowledge split loyalties
To change your position you need to make hard decisions and it is hard to make hard decisions. Why? Because it puts us in a position of split loyalties. For example: Must I be a good provider or a good father and spend more time with my family? Must I be a good mother and stay at home with my kids or be a good mother and help provide so that my kids have more opportunities? Should I enjoy life as a single person and put all my energy into my career?
 
Pause and check you perceptions of what constitutes a “good” mother or “good” provider or “success” in your career.

Acknowledge the committee of voices in your head
Where do we get these perceptions from? A guru in my life once told me that we all have a committee operating in our heads. Voices from the present and the past tell us what is good and bad, and what to do and not to do. We know they are there when we get anxious to decide on, say, taking a longer vacation. The voice on our heads says: Can you really afford to take that long a vacation? Or the voice might say the following when you want to change jobs for more satisfaction and less income: “This is selfish – you are not thinking of your family!”  This guru suggested that you acknowledge the presence of the committee members and then politely send them away to where they come from. Only then you are free to take the next step.

Fast forward your life and look back
Hindsight is always better. So why not create hindsight for the presence by fast forwarding your life and looking back? Fast forward you life to five years from now and look back. Ask yourself what is it that you want your colleagues, friends and family to say about you at your birthday party in five years’ time. Then pause and reflect on the content of the “preferred speeches”. Only now you can you decide on what is it that you need to let go of, what new things you need to start doing and what old things you need to continue doing to make these speeches come true.

If you want to pause before you pop, contact: Elsa Simpson, she is an experienced facilitator, trainer and counsellor. She conducts workshops and team-builds as well as individual processes for personal growth and development in organisations as well as with private individuals. Contact her at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it , on 021 982 7038 or 083 782 1249, or visit www.clariact.com.